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Hello friend, you've most likely reached this page out of boredom, curiosity, or malice. Which one I say? Well, surprise me!
In the event it was one of the first two (boredom or curiosity) then I'm sure you'll be appeased by the salient axioms presented in 3rd person below.

  • Dislikes:
    • Coconut
    • Cold weather
    • Eyelashes (in his eye or eyes)
    • People digging in his trash.
  • Likes:
    • Absurd pointless humor (Futurama, Kids in the Hall, etc.)
    • Beer (Blue Moon, Moosehead, New Castle, Pete's Wicked Strawberry Blonde)
    • Collecting vintage Unix Workstations (specifically SGI)
    • Obscure elements of modern culture (10-K, Child World/Children's Palace, Fortune Hunter, *Zayre)
    • Operating Systems and their attributes.
    • Time to himself (alone)
  • Occupation:

He is currently employed as a Computer Technician by a rather large and greedy monstrous entity that refers to itself simply as "THE UNIVERSITY". He has learned one fact from their fiscal dominance, and that is that there is no shame in charging patrons for toilet paper by the square.